Thursday, December 4, 2014

ch-ch-ch-changes

Change.
Its part of life.
Because life is fluid.
That simple realization doesn't make it any easier.

Change is hard.
But so, so relevant.
and needed.

I'm gonna tell you about my recent changes and such now.
Prepare for some rambling...

Guess what?
I'm no longer at the hospital.
I'm no longer working as an ortho/trauma nurse, which I've loved for the last year and a half.
My first nursing love.
Really??
who would have thought...
So, You work 12+ hours a day.
3 days a week (and sometimes more depending on whether or not they really need you up there).
Along side some pretty fabulous nurses, doctors, residents, techs...
Like as in - inyourface - up close and personal.

You share in their struggles, the patients that want to jump out of bed the minute you get in your groove for the night, the laughter, the delirious hour once 3am hits and you find solace and comfort in their presence.
You have some time to share your lives, the good/the bad/the crazy family (because you know, we all have a little crazy in all of our families...)
You develop a relationship - bonds even, with certain people, and they carve a place out in your heart.

Then, you leave, and it's gone.
now what?

Yeah there will always be Facebook and hanging out after jobs but its not the same.

my new normal:
Hospice.

hos·pice

noun \ˈhäs-pəs\
: a place that provides care for people who are dying


It's palliative.
Not curative.
I'm Going 360* in the other direction.
And I'm okay with that.
I will still be caring for people and making a difference in their lives.
That's what I'm all about anyway.
They won't even have a chance to "remember" me.
That's not what I'm going for.
Because everyone deserves dignity.
Even in the haze of dementia and delirium - they are still people.
People who have lived full lives (mostly) who have just declined physically and need a little more help.
People who need comfort from pain and the physical harshness that comes along with aging.
People who are moving from this world to another infinite, perfect place and need a little monitoring along that process.

That's what I'll be doing from here on out.
I'll be going to their homes, checking on them, being a small part of their lives for a small period of time.
And it's a totally new experience.
I won't be working side by side with nurses that can see and feel my every frustration and triumph.
I won't be running from room to room to see if my patients are okay or need anything.
I won't be scrutinizing over lab values and vital signs trying to figure out what is wrong/needed when things are askew.

It's a lot to take in right now.
But hopefully it will become my new normal sooner than later.
I'll be home with my family more and on a more normal schedule.
Finally, I'll be able to say T.G.I.F. again.
[but there is still no such thing as holidays...]

a nurse is a nurse is a nurse..
and that's what I am.











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