Wednesday, April 9, 2014

thankful things

Sometimes, words are just too much.
I've got a lot to be thankful for.

a new smaller table for our breakfast area 

a healthy 5 year old at her well check - NO SHOTS THIS TIME!!! 

the wind in her hair 

catching up on paper media 

a bag of Irmo's finest ;) Loveland Coffee 

the sun on my face as it pours in through the back patio in the mornings 

this stuff for sore muscles - no one said being a nurse was easy

a tiger nose drawn on with yellow sharpie the morning her class went to the circus 
{which I didn't notice till she got home}

upon entering our world 

bashful smiles while all attention is on her

new growth 

my seeds of hope triple wrap bracelet 

for a minute, these feet were still 

wishing on dandelions

and Him.
Oh, him - my love.
my partner.
the one who begs me to watch scary movies with him.
he's got jokes y'all.
and a killer smile.

8 years together.
the first 4 were rocky, crazy, tumultuous, disastrous...
now, married for 4 
still learning, still growing
still leaning in toward each other...
happy anniversary babe!
here's to many many more glorious years on this adventure with you.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

the difficult kind.

Oh we all know them.
Or at least one of them.
Maybe even some of them [a bunch of them].

They are the ones that make you roll your eyes.
You cringe, knowing what awaits you upon answering their call.
The very idea of investing your time in their presence, which is precious and hard enough to hold onto, is difficult.

They are the ones that are never pleased.
No matter how much you smile, no matter how often you offer your ear to listen, no matter the way you would practically bend over backwards to make them comfortable.
Even the smallest gesture goes unnoticed and is practically unwelcome anyway.

They are the ones that make even the sweetest words taste sour upon exiting your lips.
And what's worse is that they can draw you into their bubbles of dissatisfaction because negativity feeds on itself.
And it multiplies exponentially in the presence of other pessimists.
Bitterness hangs in the air; thick and awkwardly blanketing everyone around.

Oh but to break that cycle...
To quiet the inner turmoil that spins it's webs of discontent...
To realize that you don't have to be sucked into their dark hole.

From the outside, it's exhausting to deal with these people.
The difficult kind.
But you know what?
We don't know what is going on within them.
of what demons they're wrestling with.
of what is holding them captive.
of the pain that is sometimes unrelenting.
And it's not our place to offer them solutions.
It's not my place to fix their problems.

So instead, I won't jump to conclusions.
I won't pre-judge their moodiness.
I can't promise I'll be able to hold onto the sigh that wants to slip out at the mention of their name, but I can try to catch it before it escapes.
I will still love my job.
I still want to take care of them, no matter how difficult.
I won't stop trying to meet their needs nor will I ignore their calls.
I'm a nurse. It's what I do.
and difficult people are everywhere.

and maybe, just maybe showing gratitude is a difficult thing for them.
I cannot hold it against them.

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