It's been a while.
Things around here have been a bit tense lately.
I haven't been able to find the words to write.
I've started and scratched this post like 7 times in the last week.
A week ago, Roger lost his job.
It's been one big stress ball ever since.
It has definitely not been peaceful under our roof.
It's amazing how one small event can change your lives so much.
Security isn't as secure anymore.
Stability topples over.
My husband works hard for our family.
He worked hard so I could go to nursing school.
He's a very honest man.
He lives his life according to God's word.
He's not afraid to be vulnerable or sensitive.
On top of all this mess last week, I hurt my back.
And let me tell you, when your back is out, there's not a thing that you can do for yourself.
Thank GOD he was home with me - I couldn't have done it by myself.
And thank GOD that my father is the best massage therapist in the South.
I don't know where I'd be without his multiple sessions of deep tissue massage over the weekend.
IT HURT, but did what it was supposed to do.
I'm still sore, but it gets better every day.
I'm working as much as I can in my new job.
I still love it - there's something new every day.
It still can be scary.
My night shifts start next weekend.
That will be another change to prepare for.
Roger will be fine.
He's already talked to several people and worked enough to make up for last week.
Pray for the discernment to choose the right job for our family.
With my work schedule as all over the place as it is, it may help that he's able to have a more flexible schedule.
Even though we have been at each others' throats the last few days just from me allowing stress to take over - he's an amazing father.
He's so good with our child.
And she adores her father like nothing else.
So as I critically pick apart all his flaws and demand things to happen that aren't necessarily going to happen over night, he does his best to keep everything together while I work 13 hour days.
We are still the richest we have ever been - rich in health, rich in family, rich in communication and hopefully rich in our faith.
This is just me being transparent.
This is me failing at giving mercy and grace to people I love.
I'm sorry, maybe I'm being stubborn and just don't want to accept that this is happening.
This is me trying to cling to some sort of stability and not turning to God for upholding His promises for our family.
I'm going to go spend the day with my girl, soaking up all the time I can with her.
And wait for the rain to come.