Monday, August 16, 2010

typing on a tiny cell phone computer :)

We're home. our family is back together. it's actually such a relief. god i hope roger continues to do well. he seems really good but life isn't always guaranteeable. hailee is happy here! she's sleeping in a big girl bed!! we got a king sized mattress & put our full mattress in her room. she can get on & off the bed with no problems. last night she was in it all by herself until 5am. then i went in there & layed down beside her when she woke up. i'm writing this on my phone until we get a computer.. its taking me forever but better than nothing. now- its a policy with verizon that almost all of their phones MUST come with some sort of data package - which i think is complete crap. whatever.. roger is working & hailee is napping. its dark & drizzly outside but i just had coffee so i won't even attempt a nap. i hope everything goes well while i'm at work tonight. i'll be thinking about roger & hailee the whole time.. hurrying through work trying to get home. aaahhhh! a train is going by very loudly. i hope it doesn't wake hailee up.. seems like they pull those horns for like 20 seconds. if there are lots of mistakes in this it doesn't matter. the screen is tiny. more to come later.. next monday through wed me & hailee are going to myrtle beach with my parents. her first time & i haven't been since high school. should be fun & i'll take lost of pictures. until then i'm only eating salad & fruit. looking for a bathing suit was quite depressing. never again. here comes the rain!! maybe roger will be home soon..

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

so i'm not really sure why 'all of the sudden' my camera won't plug into the usb cord anymore. i have a memory stick, but no where to stick it. i have a sneaking suspicion it has to do with a 16 month old that is supposed to be napping right now, but i can hear her 'talking'. i had to finagle (my own spelling :) the dang cord and hold it really still so i could just transfer pics and videos over. whoo! took forever.
i'm trying to get hailee to sleep a little earlier than normal.
1) because there's never a set time that she sleeps
2) i have a dentist apt today and have to have her over to grammie's by 3pm.

what is it with 1 and a half year olds and eating? lately, she isn't interested in food. she makes faces, turns her head away and spits things out i sneak in there! it's all i can do to get a good meal into her once a day. apparently she's still on the right track though because everything looked good at her 15 month check up. she hasn't been to the dr yet and not gotten a shot. is that normal? my mom told me she was sure we didn't get that many shots 30 years ago. wow, really? 30 years, well 29, but close enough. just like in the deanna carter song, strawberry wine, "i still remember - when 30 was old" and i do!

hopefully roger will be home from u-turn for Christ in 3 weeks. maybe tomorrow we'll know a little more. i get what a single mom feels like. it is not easy. were it not for my parents, i don't know what i'd do. thank you God for my 2nd shift job, where i can spend my whole day with my sweet girl, then go work, make money and pay all our bills. God is truly providing a way for us. i have faith he will continue to. we are so blessed to have a family that is as loving and supportive as they are. things do get a little crazy sometimes and i'll admit, i really look forward to the weekends when it's just hailee and i in our little house in lexington. i know hailee loves it too. it's her room and her toys and her space basically. it's home. that's where the video was taken - in her room.
these videos sooooo take forever to upload. do i forget this every time?

a new thing with hailee is she like to climb. she climbs in to chairs, she climbs onto couches, she climbs onto toilets (with the lids closed) she just climbs! my little monkey. she's also trying to get the concept of 'jump' down. she knows what to do, but her feet haven't left the ground yet. she will not let me put anything in her hair. the minute she realizes some thing's there, she rips it out.
my hours at wachovia have been not nearly as late as they used to be. i'm glad i get to get out early and go to sleep at a decent time, but i need the hourse too on my paycheck. ok. that's enough for now. nothing really new with school - i finally got someone at midlands to talk to me and she said since i have fafsa on file, they used that to verify my citizenship so i can request my transcript again and no hold will be on my account. yay! another step closer. just waiting on my high school transcript... maybe they're not there in the summer??

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

OMG by Usher, as danced to by Hailee

It might be a little dark, but she is soooooo funny!!
Last week, i drove down to Orangeburg, SC to attend the Health Information Session, where I picked up my packet to apply to their nursing program. it starts Fall 2011. Sounds super promising - don't think I'm going to have any problems getting into it.
I was requesting my high school and college (Midlands Tech) transcripts when I hit my first roadblock.. Got an email saying there was a hold on my Midlands Tech transcript due to a Citizenship Verification. what??!! I've been enrolled there since 2006 and now this happens? So there was a number to call on the email for disputes: 803-738-7835. Guess who this phone number belongs to? No one. Eventually, it puts you into the main menu of the midlands tech information phone line. Right now, it's nearly impossible to get a live person on the phone because it's also advisement time. I'm probably just going to go down there when I have time. I can't stand Midlands Tech. I never want to go there again. For their nursing program, the waiting list is UNREAL! O-C Tech doesn't have a waiting list - it's just a competitive program. You have to earn a spot in their program. I'm all for that!! I have to go back next month and take a placement test called TEAS. Then, once I get my transcripts in, I can turn in my packet and finish applying to nursing school.
So, I have to talk about my gorgeous, sweet girl, Hailee!! She keeps me smiling and laughing. A few Sundays back, I went with my mom and dad to my dad's church he grew up in, White House UMC, in Orangeburg, SC. They didn't have a nursery to keep Hailee in because it's mostly older adults, not too many kiddos. So Hailee sat on the pew between me and my mom. When we were singing hymns, she was singing right along with us. I almost couldn't sing I was laughing so hard. Her little face was so serious too! :) She also talked most of the service and I was so embarrassed, but everyone afterward said she did so good. idk?

So a few random things -
I got some hummus because I wanted to try it and it's made of chick peas and supposed to be pretty good for you - I cannot make myself eat another bite of it. its kinda gross. That's just what I think. I tried it with bread and with pita chips. ugh, I'll take spinach dip any day of the week!
I've been walking with Hailee in her stroller on the mornings when it's not a thousand degrees outside because of the humidity, and she's doing lots better with the walking. She used to scream after I only got a few blocks away, but I've learned to keep the little tray in front of her stocked with gold fish or puffs. I tried suckers first, Dum Dums, but they were way too messy. She wanted to hold the sticky part in her fingers.
Hailee's Favorite song is OMG by Usher and Will-i-am. I got a video of her dancing to it, but its a little dark. I'll still try to post it. she is so funny, she cracks me up!!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

decisions decisions..

what to do, what to do.. well, i'll tell you what i'm going to do!

i've decided that in the current situation we're in (partially at my parents for the next 2 months), if my husband continues to go round and round in circles in the cycle that is addiction, i must be able to provide for my daughter.

yesterday, i reapplied to midlands tech.

i stopped pre x-ray technician school in the end of 2008 a few months before hailee was born and haven't gone back. this puts me back in status of active student. i was 2 classes away from beginning the x ray program with clinicals and all. i still have all my classes and grades (3.9 gpa!! woot woot -would have been a 4.0 but a butt head english teacher gave me a "B"!!), so maybe there won't be many prerequisites to take so that i can start the nursing program.

i have no idea what the waiting list looks like.. it doesn't really matter though, i have to do something. i must be able to provide for myself and my daughter if my husband can't pick himself up and conquer his addictions. i cannot keep depending on my parents as a safe haven.

sure, they would give me the world if i asked, but that's not me. i'm very independent. this is such a humbling experience.

i've been praying constantly that God gives me the knowledge and opportunity to be able to provide for my daughter and myself ever since roger went back into u turn this week. yesterday, my dad said those exact words.. 'you need to have a career where you can provide for you and hailee if roger and you don't work out'.. WOW God answers prayers!! so they are going to watch Hailee during the day while i'm in classes and i can work at night if i have to.

i'm also going to have to tell roger he cannot continue to work in the landscape business because without benefits, and only making $9-$10 an hour won't do in helping support a family and with me going back to school. in the words of my sister-in-law, Cynthia, "you're going to have to figure it out" because i want to better my self and go back to school. it won't take forever, and hopefully i'll be able to go full time instead of part time with my parents helping out. God is good.

don't get me wrong, i love my husband, but i will not put hailee through the cycles that i've been through with roger. she deserves the world. she didn't ask to be born into a life without a father, but i think that option is better than one with a father who just can't be sober. i love my sweet baby girl way too much for that.

not many of you know that we're going through this because i'm a pretty quiet person and don't really get into all this with everyone, but i need to vent. not a day has gone by YET when i haven't heard how bad it is because roger made the decisions he did. but i'm persevering and i will have patients that God will work for good in my situation. He has a plan and never gives us more than we can handle. one amazing thing that came out of roger going to u turn is that i've gotten so much closer to my heavenly father. i'm reading my bible again and getting comfort from these trials and tribulations that we're in the midst of. God wants us to draw closer to him in these times so He can take on our worries and problems. i'm giving it all to Him.

already, look what's happened - i'm going to call and set up an appointment to talk to someone in the nursing department to see what i have to do to start the nursing program.

i can do this.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

hailee eating her first corn on the cob. she loved it!

wow! uploading a video takes forever!

yet again, hailee's napping.
it's about the only time i have to do anything. she's such a busy body. i wouldn't have it any other way though. for lunch today, she had pickles, cheese and turkey. my dad tried to get her to taste some tuna fish, but like her mommy, she didn't like that! we started with chef boyardee (i'm sure that isn't spelled right) beefaroni, and immediately, that was spit way out. she is such a picky little eater right now but i think it's because she's getting in another tooth. it's up top in the back and just barely poking through the gum line.
my baby brother and his new wife bought their house yesterday!
i know he's excited. i would be :)

Monday, June 21, 2010

hailee's napping

So this is new.. Back at my parents for the next 2 months while Roger goes through the Christian discipleship program U Turn For Christ again. Hopefully this time everything will figure itself out. We'll be going home on the weekends and a few times durring the week. Hailee is growing and changing so much, so fast! she's almost 15 months old, has 5 teeth (that i can see) and is so smart! She knows these body parts: nose, eye, ear, mouth, toes, hair. But the only one she can say is "eye". She says "knock knock" and knocks on a hard surface.. And every clock she sees, she points to it and says "clock!" over and over again. She loves being outside and playing in the pools. During the day we can only stay outside a little while because I'm deathly afaid of insects (crazy me!) and once they realize we're outside, they don't go away.

Everyone around me is doing the insanity px90? workouts and i can't even start them yet. about a week ago, i fell in a puddle of water in walmart and went straight down on my knee. didn't break anything but its bruised up pretty good and is sore. So i'm supposed to take it easy for a little while to make sure there's nothing wrong with my meniscus or ligaments. If it still hurts next week, they want to do an mri. more money!! hopefully walmart will be fitting THAT bill..
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